Suddenly I Was a Woman with Cancer

In the summer of 2019, my life changed completely. From being a healthy and energetic woman to suddenly being a woman with cancer. I was diagnosed with rectal cancer that had spread to my liver. I had two children aged 7 and 9 and was facing great uncertainty about what the future would bring. The doctors told me that I could not be cured, but I could receive life-prolonging chemotherapy. With the chemotherapy would come side effects, including losing my hair. At first, I didn’t think losing my hair would matter much – after all, it’s just hair and it grows back.

But I soon became wiser, because with the hair loss I could no longer hide that I was seriously ill – not from the people around me, not from my children, and suddenly it became very real to me as well every time I looked in the mirror. I no longer looked like the healthy, energetic woman I used to be, but like a sick woman. Many people told me that I looked amazing with short hair, but all I could see was that I looked ill. I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror – at least not the image I had of myself in my mind.

I had no doubt that I wanted a wig so that I could feel like myself despite the illness and the chemotherapy. With a wig, I could go out into the world without people staring or looking at me with pity. I needed not to look sick. I needed to feel beautiful and like myself again, and the wig helped me do that.

In 2020, I had surgery to remove my rectum and underwent a liver transplant. According to the hospital, the cancer was now gone, and my own hair could grow back. I went for check-ups every three months to make sure the cancer did not return. In May 2022, a follow-up scan showed that the cancer had returned in my new liver, and I have been receiving chemotherapy since then. Once again, I lost my hair – and in theory, I still had a wig from my previous chemotherapy treatment. But the wig was not like the hair I had grown back, neither in length nor texture. I tried wearing the old wig, but it didn’t feel right this time, because it was so different from the hair I had regained.

I needed a wig that looked like my own hair. Even though I am very open about my illness and my journey, I needed my wig not to look obviously like a wig. Instead, I needed one that truly resembled my own hair. Fortunately, Toftild was able to help me with that. Even when you are ill, you still need to feel beautiful, and as a woman, you need to feel feminine. For me, so much of both is connected to my hair.